Wow, so many thoughts today... let's see if I can get them all out.
I've been bumming for a few days for various reasons. I paid the bills yesterday. Wow, what a sobering activity. The way my husbands schedule is has given us a ton of overtime pay. That is a good thing because we had some catching up to do. With what we expected to be coming in, I thought we would have some, the ever illusive, "extra" money. With his second paycheck and realizing what will come out for benefits and taxes, its just so depressing. "Extra" never seems to be attainable. When we were both working and making a combined six figure income, we would often feel like we were "broke". Now I realize what a difference there is in having money that was spent and feeling broke and never getting the money in the first place and feeling broke. Even in the midst of this, I have to be thankful, because this was something we chose; a sacrifice we were willing to make for the sake of our children. So I am thankful that we are even able to be doing this. However, it doesn't make it any less humbling.
The second thing that's been bumming me is out the utter sinfulness of people. I am reading this book, Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. It's a true story about an Olympic track winner that went into service for World War II. Its a good book if you can handle war stories and hear the horrific things that happened to men during that time. I almost didn't read it when I first heard the general contents. This man ended up in a Japanese POW camp and was tortured for well over a year, if not two. I know he ultimately survives because it is a true story, but I am not yet past the POW camp part. The things one human can do to another is just beyond belief. I found myself in tears last night asking God "why?". I know its not for me to ask and we just need to trust Him, but wow, just floors me.
The last thing is family, especially in-laws. Its so much easier to love and get past the faults of your own family members then it is past the faults of in-laws. It's much tougher when you see those faults hurt your spouse. You know a few weeks from now, your spouse will be over it and best buds with siblings again and for me, at least, I still hang onto the frustration of the incident. There are times when I feel like if a sibling wasn't an actual family member there is no way we'd hang out with a person like that. Maybe we're on the raw end of the deal because we ARE family. Weird how its easier to take out your emotions and be somewhat "rude" to family members when you would never act that way to a friend or acquaintance. I'm just praying that I can figure out a good way to make sure my children don't treat each other this way when they're older. I hope they will be friends and really respect each other as adults.
A totally other subject.... I am so done with poopy underwear. I don't know what the deal is with boys, but seriously. Almost every day I have a pair of underwear soaking in a sink somewhere. Please tell me other moms have this issue cause it just totally grosses me out.
K, sorry for all the downers today, but just being real. Praying for y'all and thankful for your friendships!
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