Well I surely wouldn't classify today as a good day. However, I don't really think school was to blame. We got rolling this morning just a tad late and breakfast and chores took a little longer than I expected. We started school before 9 though so we didn't do too bad. I thought I would start the day doing read-alouds because I thought the twins could sit with us and feel included. That lasted all of about 10 minutes. I want the kids to learn how to sit though, so I did pester them a for a little while to sit down and be quiet and listen. When it started to interrupt the flow of what we were doing, I just gave up on them and let them play. Even then, I had to ask them to be quiet numerous times because even playing with their toys, we got the loud "vrooms" and "rawrs" from their play. About 1/2 hour in to reading, my oldest son said to me, "Mom, when are we going to start school?" I said, "this is it kiddo!" He said, "are we going to read for an hour every day?" LOL! Considering we are using Sonlight curriculum, I said "you betcha!" He was so looking forward to the worksheets, etc.
So even once we got into the worksheets, dealing with the twins was hard. I even tried to engage them with coloring sheets, reading books etc. All in all though, school time still went well.
Then this afternoon, I don't know what snapped. I think I was a little out of sorts because I didn't get to do any cleaning this morning, so the kitchen was a little bit of a disaster. Plus it was such a beautiful day and I knew the kids needed to get outside to play. We headed outside and I sat on the swing, book in hand, reading while they played. After an hour of reading, the wonderful breeze, perfect temperature, I was so sleepy! I just wanted a nap. I thought we'd come in and watch a movie and I could rest on the couch. I don't know if it was cause I was tired, or if it was the house being messy, or realizing I had to run to Sams Club to pick up dog food or what, but the kids just started hitting every last nerve. Oh I do have to add what some of my day entailed...
My youngest son, one of the twins, spilled water on the counter early this morning. At lunch he spilled mandarin orange juice on the floor and chair. He wet his pants in the bathroom all over the floor. Then on our way to Sams Club, he spilled Sprite from McDonalds in the back seat. Seriously, it is time to bring out the sippy cups again???
And that's just one of the 5 kids.
Last Friday was the first time in the month or so that I actually thought about going back to work. It also was during my Aunt Flo's monthly visit, and so, I attributed the bad attitude to that. However, Aunt Flo has left and today, the thought was there again. Am I in over my head? Maybe Christian School isn't all that bad? I had a good cry and hopefully got rid of all the negativity.
I do admit though that I have never felt so incompetent in my life. I am usually pretty good at things and very confident. I don't know if the Lord is working on my humility or what, but I'm feeling it! I'm trusting the verse that says He will not put me in a situation that is above what I can handle. I am reminded of a Facebook status that one of my friends posted. It said something about being thankful for all the spills, cries, screams, fights, etc that come from kids, cause otherwise, I could be like some who are crying tears of not being able to bear children. And on that note, I thank God tremendously for the blessing of my five children. I just hope we can all make it emotionally unscathed :-)
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